Sterling Baumgardner
Sterling Baumgardner is a sophomore pursuing a dual major in public health and nursing, who grew up in Mansfield, Ohio. He works part-time as a patient care assistant on the adolescent unit at Akron Children鈥檚 Hospital, and he often helps treat kids struggling with mental health issues. Baumgardner understands; he鈥檚 been treated at Akron Children鈥檚 Hospital, too. He joined the campaign, in part, to make sure others take suicide prevention seriously.
I think my worst mental health was when I was in my early teenage years. My parents divorced when I was seven, and I experienced physical abuse, emotional abuse. I had severe depression and multiple suicide attempts. I couldn鈥檛 plan my life more than a month ahead. I couldn鈥檛 see myself living past that.
I am definitely a lot further than that now. But it鈥檚 been a long journey. I was actually hospitalized multiple times at Akron Children鈥檚 Hospital. The last time I was there, I realized that this is unacceptable. I need to stay alive. I can鈥檛 keep doing this. Even though I was still very, very depressed, and at times suicidal, I told myself that I had to be here, and that my voice and my thoughts and my experiences matter.
Now, I鈥檓 working on some of the units that I鈥檇 been admitted to and working with some of the nurses who took care of me during that time. It鈥檚 really humbling to have made it far enough in my own journey that I can say I鈥檓 healthy within my own mental space.
Some people when they鈥檙e having a really bad day, they say, 鈥淚 wish I didn鈥檛 exist.鈥 They don鈥檛 realize that is a form of suicidal thoughts. It鈥檚 been normalized.
I think it鈥檚 100% important to be honest with yourself. If you鈥檙e in a dangerous headspace, being honest with yourself may be the only way that you are going to maintain safety at that point.
Some of the things I see at work are really heartbreaking, but I try not to take my work home, which is hard. I think that鈥檚 something all mental health professionals have to do. Personally, as soon as I get in the car, I listen to music and try to sing along. And when I get home, I just go to sleep, because the more you鈥檙e awake, that鈥檚 more time to dwell on the events of the shift. Once I wake up, they鈥檙e no longer at the forefront of my mind.
There鈥檚 such a stigma鈥攆or science majors in particular鈥攖hat you don鈥檛 have time for mental illness. I think that it鈥檚 a horrible stigma. There鈥檚 no such thing as 鈥渘o time for mental illness,鈥 because it isn鈥檛 a choice. I want people to see that I am a science major and I have pretty serious diagnoses for mental health conditions, and I still manage to be successful in college.
I鈥檓 happy that the university is placing such a big emphasis publicly on prioritizing students鈥 mental health. That is something I really love about Kent State.